UFC 119: Bold Predictions

Welcome to the first installment of UFC (insert number) bold predictions.  Here at Raucus we are huge MMA fans, but you may not know this because we don't wear obnoxious graphic tees of panthers fucking dragons with skulls around them.  For this this card I am bringing in a huge asset, Mr. 10&2 himself,  Poul 'E. Slithers' Collins for his take on the fights.  


As always, if Poul loses I will post his cell phone number on the site.  Good luck 10&2...screw it, I'll post the number anyway because he's not gonna win. 


(314) 663-9832.  Call him anytime.  


Without further ado, here are our bold predictions:


Frank Mir v Mirko 'Cro Cop' Filipovic

Raucus Nature: If this fight was made four years ago I would've bought tickets to see it live.  Flash forward to 2010 and you have Frank Mir's weird sideways soul patch going against the corpse of Cro Cop.  He looked like shit in the dos Santos fight and only won the Barry fight because of 'HD's' huge bromance with Mirko.  Speaking of bromances, Mir is one of my favorite fighters, so I will go Mir by submission 1st round.


Poul: For the main card, I think it's going to be very competitive, but I'll take Mir (for the first time ever); simply because Cro Cop's tiny head and uppety accent annoy me a lot more than Mir's creepy, crooked soul patch. Winner: Mir


Ryan Bader v Antonio Rogerio Nogueira

Raucus Nature: Do you really want to win this fight, when rumor has it your prize is a fight with phenom Jon 'Bones' Jones next?


Disregarding that, I'm not ready to jump on the death star just yet (get it...haha) .  Ryan Bader's best win was against Kieth 'I lost five in a row Dean of Mean' Jardine.  Due to the shit bomb he delivered in the Brilz fight Lil' Nog is popping off at a 2:1 underdog, which is ridiculous.  He is an Olympic level amateur boxer and a southpaw to boot.  And don't even bring up Bader's superior level wrestling as the wild card because Lil' Nog will fold 'Master' Bader up like origami if this hits the floor...too bad it won't.  Lil' Nog by 2nd round TKO which will put Bader back in gatekeeper status.


Poul: I think Bader is going to be a tad too much physically for Lil' Nog, plus this is the fight where he loses the 'Darth' nickname, and becomes the 'Master'. Winner: Bader


Sean Sherk v Evan Dunham

Raucus Nature: Sherk hasn't fought in 16 months.  He also seems content to trade on his feet now instead of using his superior takedowns and smothering top control to grind out fights like he used to. Which is mind blowing considering he has the reach of a T-Rex.  Dunham looked great against Tyson Griffin in his last fight, couple that with Sherk's inevitable ring rust, I say Dunham via unanimous decision.


Poul: Dunham over Sherk because Dunham has proved he can handle the smaller, thick body wrestling types. Winner: Dunham

Chris Lytle v Matt Serra

Raucus Nature: 'Lights out' Lytle has more fight bonuses than anyone in UFC history with eight (he netted over 300k combined for those) so expect fireworks in the rematch of The Ultimate Fighter season 4 finale.  Snooki might be taller than Matt 'The Terror' Serra, but don't sleep on the boy from Jersey, he comes to scrap every fight.  That being said, I gotta go with my fist pumping favorite.  Matt Serra 3rd round submission.


Poul: Lytle over Serra cause Matt is a Terra, but it's the '-ble' type. Winner: Lytle


Jeremy Stephens v Melvin Guillard

Raucus Nature: This has fight of the night written all over it.  Both guys seem to check their ground games at the cage door and proceed to throw bombs like they just walked in on their opponent tea bagging their mom.  This fight is a toss up, so I'm gonna show some love for my hometown and go with Des Moines' own Jeremy 'Lil' Heathen' Stephens via 2nd round TKO.


Poul:  I'm taking Stephens over Guillard because he doesn't feel pain.  Winner: Stephens