This is Patrick.
He works as a very important businessman in Denver. Patrick's face always looks like this. Is it because he's a raging alcoholic who not only likes to hit the sauce, but also the prostitutes he picks up? Maybe. Is it because this picture was taken mid-sneeze after he snorted an eight ball of Columbian bam bam? Perhaps.
We may never know.
I have a theory. Patrick makes this face when in the throes of passion. The reason for the passion also coincides with why I feel he should be known. Patrick wasn't always an important businessman in the Mile High City. He was once a pale, husky boy with a dream. Most would say this dream was baseball or football and they would be incorrect. Granted, Patrick was an exceptional football player and even better baseball player who led his team to state championships in each sport. But his real passion and first love will always be dance, thus where the face came from.
I will never forget seeing Patrick and his stupid face preform 'Danger Zone' in a leotard for the Clegg Park 3rd grade talent recital. If it wasn't for some classmate's awe inspiring and jaw dropping display of Tae Kwon Do (hint: it was me) then Patrick would've won hands down. After seeing Patrick dash from the room with red, puffy eyes from his failed attempt at glory I assumed, like the rest of the spectators, that Patrick would hang up his slippers. And we were right.
Or so we thought. Exclusive footage has been dug up of what we at Raucus believe to be Patrick's farewell dance, his swan song if you will. This footage is why Patrick is someone you should know. We should all celebrate the courage he had to don the leotard and smear lipstick on his awkward face one last time.
Domo Arigato,
Cody
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