Dear Entourage, Stop Blowing...

We get it, this season Vince is edgy and dates porn stars, but Doug Ellin please get Sasha Grey off Entourage.  Don't get me wrong, I like Entourage and I love porn, but her part on the show seems so forced.  We understand Sasha isn't shallow, she can get gangbanged by five guys, but it's cool because her porn name is from an Oscar Wilde novel.  She could've just used the name of her first pet and street she grew up on like normal people do, but she's deep.  By the way, I would be Rascal Hillside; tell me that doesn't roll right off the tongue.

Getting back on point, it seems the theory behind the show this season is to throw a bunch of cool unrelated shit together and hope it pans out. That's like saying I love football and sex, so I should want to take Bret Favre to pound town every Sunday (and the occasional Monday)...but I don't, not because I'm homophobic. It's because he wears Wranglers.  

We fell in love with Entourage because of the hustle, the first three seasons we were pulling so hard for Vince to crack the A-list and for Johnny Drama to remain relevant.  

But fear not, we can right this ship with five simple changes:

1. Stop product placement raping us with Avion Tequila 

Yes, it's an actual tequila. You can buy it here. Nice idea and everything, but let's wrap this shit up already.  Have Mark Cuban's corpse (seriously, is he auditioning for weekend at Bernie's 3?  He has a permanent half smile that is just creepy) buy out Carlos and make Turtle Operations Manager.  I don't see how Alex will stick around, which is a shame because I was just getting used to my pants becoming uncomfortably tight whenever she was on screen.

2. Scott Lavin (Scott Caan) and E start out on their own

Let's face it, the days of us thinking E is a bad ass are loooooong gone.  His peak was the Seth Green beat down.  The guy isn't built for that role.  He really isn't built to ride most roller coasters.  However, the chemistry he has with Lavin is great.  I'd like to see them give a big fuck you to Murray, like Lavin has alluded to, and form their own company. It'd definitely inject new life into the story line.

3. Make Vince better at hiding drugs 

Small complaint, but are you fucking kidding me?  Lloyd goes searching for more Tequila and finds a couple of kilos of columbian bam bam.  Vince doesn't have a massive drug problem, he has a hiding problem.  

4. Mrs. Ari and the kids die in a plane crash. Fine...if they HAVE to live, Ari has an affair

Preferably with Lizzie Gordon which rips apart the marriage.  In the sex scene she'd have to be on top, because you can now see Jeremy Piven's bald spot from space.

5. Get Drama a fucking mirror

Johnny finally gets a show green lit and he turns it down because it's a gorilla cartoon?  Bullshit story arc.  


Also, I'm tired of E cracking up every time someone reads the 'Johnny Bananas' script out loud.

I don't mean to only bag on the show, but like any favorite child you want to see it reach it's full potential instead of settle for mediocrity like the neighbor's kids.  Stop raining on the parade and please go back to what made your show great, just four friends living the dream in Hollywood.